I am a PTSD victim, - a condition that in some cases is known to even kill a person!

What exactly is PTSD?  Post Traumatic Stress Dysfunction and how did I get it? Well, in my case I got PTSD as a direct result of how people behaved towards me. 

Will this condition take my life?  I most certainly do not think so in my case, - but it has been a very very hard, painful and difficult 3 - 4 years!

Dear friends of my blog,

I have come to a place and time in my life where I have decided to become very honest and transparent about something I have been fighting for the last 3 years and 6 months.  More important, I have decided to use a small part of my time and limited resources to educate people about this  condition and how a person can end up getting this horrible condition.  Perhaps, - as a result of
this other people will start to think and act differently towards each other.  Perhaps a few more people will stop and think before they act, - before they act and destroy another persons life simply as a result of being totally disrespectful.


PTSD is a condition which some times is inflicted on a person as result of that person experiencing a shocking and for him or her very traumatic experience.  Such experiences may be one of the following:
  • Experiences a soldier is facing in combat when fighting in a war.
  • Car accidents or other serious accidents with severe human damage.
  • The experience of losing your family as a result of divorce for instance.
  • Victims of violent acts, such as domestic violence, rape, sexual, physical and/or verbal abuse or physical attacks.
  • The experience of having learned of or experienced an unexpected and sudden death of a friend or relative.
PTSD is a real and increasing health problem in our modern and increasingly colder and less caring society we all live in and can happen to a person at any age.   It affects, to some degree or another, approximately 3.5% of the adult population in any given year.

How does PTSD affect a person, - what kind of health and other problems may a PTSD person experience?

The list you can read below is a more complete list of problems any person with PTSD can experience, and does not necessarily describe what I have experiences, - although I must confess I have been fighting most of them.  Particularly the very first items on the list.
  • Pain and even severe pain in joints and muscles. In the most serious cases this can in periods lead to painful lumps on  legs and feet and even other parts of the body.
  • Panic attacks: a feeling of intense fear, with shortness of breath, dizziness, sweating, nausea
    and racing heart.
  • Physical symptoms: chronic pain, headaches, stomach pain, diarrhea, tightness or burning in the chest, muscle cramps or low back pain.
  • Feelings of mistrust: losing trust in others and thinking the world is a dangerous place.  
  • Problems in daily living: having problems functioning in your job, at school, or in social situations.
  • Substance abuse: using drugs or alcohol to cope with the emotional pain.
  • Relationship problems: having problems with intimacy, or feeling detached from your family and friends.
  • Depression: persistent sad, anxious or empty mood; loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities; feelings of guilt and shame; or hopelessness about the future. Other symptoms of depression may also develop.
  • Suicidal thoughts: thoughts about taking one’s own life.
  • Sleep problems.  This is some times periodic, - other times not.  A problem with this is that loss of sleep tends to make the overall PTSD condition worst.
PTSD is also being described as "the mother of all sicknesses" and might even lead to cancer and heart attacks, - as well as to a number of less serious conditions.  And yes, - people with PTSD has been know to die from their condition.   But, with proper treatment and help, - this should not happen and, pending certain conditions, I have been told that I should be able to almost fully recover from this horrible experience.

There are for the most part THREE different versions of PTSD:
  • Uncomplicated PTSD
  • Comorbid PTSD
  • Complex PTSD 
Complex PTSD is the most serious version and was unfortunately the version I was diagnosed with after visits with specialists in Ukraine and Russia.  But luckily, according to the same specialists and also according do my own doctor and good friend in Norway, - since I have a very good and strong general health, - the damaging effects of my "complex PTSD" is not as severe as it otherwise could have been.  I am also a fighter, - and that combined with the fact that I have people praying for me, - give me good reason for hope for a much better future.

So, - what has my own personal experiences with PTSD 
been over the past 3 - 4 years?


More specifically, my own personal experiences with my PTSD has for the most part been related to the following:
  • Pain and even most SEVERE pain in muscles and joints.  Pain like serious toothache in many cases, even in my fingers, particularly on my left hand.  (Which is my writing hand.)
  • Because of pain and stiffness, - in the worst periods, I have not been able to get out of bed, walk to the toilet, - or get dressed on my own.  I have been hospitalized twice as a result of this.
  • Memory loss. Most of what happened after the actual incident in the month of September 2012 has been ereased from my memory. (Typical with many PTSD cases).  And ever since and up to this year I have had problems with my short-term memory from time to time.
  • Loss of sleep.  The numbers of night over the last 3 - 4 years where I simply has not been able to sleep for perhaps more than one hour or two, - are too many too count.  This however, has improved lately.  Hopefully it will stay this way.
  • General feeling of severe exhaustion.  The combination of being VERY tired and exhausted combined with problems getting good sleep, - is another very bad experience.  Particularly when it goes on for years.
But on top of all of the above, - perhaps the worst and most painful experience has been to listen and read what a couple of former friends has expressed in terms of what transpired in the fall of 2012.  Generally that everything which was done was a 100% correct way of acting, - and that it was the best thing that could happen!  For me it has been identical to what a woman would have experienced after a rape, - when her best friend came and told her that the rape "was the best thing that could have happened"!

What was the REASON or cause for me getting 
Complex PTSD?

This is something I will write more about on this blog in future articles, - but very simply explained here I will say the following: 
Under for me very severe personal circumstances, - (which has zero relation to the fact that I later got
PTSD) I was forced to take what was supposed to be a longer vacation away from my business for
health reasons.  I left some of the controls of the company to what I thought was good Christian friends, - only to no more than 2 weeks and a few days to find out that those friends, - under the leadership of one person in particular, - using lies and deceptions, basically took the company away from me.  They incorporated and started a brand new company, - moved the entire database of customers over to the new company named Leaf, Inc.,  and promised all my customers a much better future there.  A future which turned out to be shorter than 9 months, - and in which he caused them to lose much more money than what would have been the case even in a worst case scenario in my company.
I will name the main person responsible for this in upcoming posts here on my blog, - but let me just also add the following:  He then invited the customers of my company to invest their money in the new company, - and succeeded in raising more than 200.000 US dollars this way.  All this only to run the company into the ground 8 - 9 months later.   
The main person in question here today says he refuses to take any responsibility for the severe damages he has inflicted on me, both in terms of my financial situation, but much more important, in terms of my severely damaged health situation.   He even says he would do the exact same thing
again, had the situation been introduced to him.  And, - he now even accuses me of telling what he calls "very serious and heavy lies" about him when I am sharing the facts of this story with others.
Please understand:  I am not going public with this to harm anyone, - or to get back on the main person responsible.  I am doing it for the following reasons, and those reasons only:
1)  To help educate people on the subject of PTSD, and of the seriousness of how SEVERELY damaging a possible lack of respect, care and general honest behavior towards your fellow man can be.  So serious in fact, that in a worst case scenario such bad behavior can take the life of another person, - or destroy the life of that person for the rest of his or her life.
2)   As an effort to force the person with the main responsibility here to take ownership of his responsibilities in connections with his so severely wrong actions.
3)    And finally, - to inform friends, family and those I am now working with in an effort to re-build a new life and a new business, so that they will better be able to understand why at some times I may not be able to respond or function 100% like a normal and healthy person.  At least not right now, - although I do hope this will change in the future.
Thanks for having the patience to read all of the above, - and thanks a lot if you understand what I am trying to share and convey here.  This world of ours is getting colder, more brutal and dishonest by the day, - and if I with this can help stop even ONE more case like the experience I have had behind me for the last 3 years and 6 months, then at least some good has come out of this horrible story.
All the best from me to you!
Helge
 

1 comment:

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